


I Don't Want To Be Alone

by Croxiing



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Abandonment, Brother Figure Viktor, Emotional Hurt, Family figure Viktor, Gen, Yuri Plisetsky Angst, Yuri is sad about Viktor leaving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-21
Updated: 2016-11-21
Packaged: 2018-09-01 05:44:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8610961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Croxiing/pseuds/Croxiing
Summary: Viktor had always been there, since the very beginning, but why has he chosen now to leave?





	

**Author's Note:**

> I like to imagine that Viktor is something of a brother to Yuri and that Yuri is okay to let his feelings out to Viktor.  
> This is what i want to say is happening in actual Teen Angst Yuri's mind after Viktor leaves.
> 
> ((Just to let you know, to tell the difference between them its Katsuki Yuuri and Yuri Plisetsky))

   Viktor had always been there, since the very beginning, back when you had just started out and you still had a light in your eyes.

He stayed even after that light was gone, after you had to put your grandfather into the ground,  **He had been there**.

He let you cry on his shoulder, he even said words for him, when you couldn't bring yourself to look away from that hole that they were gonna put the only man who cared for you.

 He held your hand when you were scared, and he told you stories when you couldn't sleep.

He brought you soups when you were sick and you were grateful for it.

 But where was Viktor now?

He was tired of you, he had to be, why else would he travel all the way to Japan. Surely not because some pig decided he was gonna skate to  _Viktor's_ program. Its not like you could blame him, he's practically been taking care of you from the moment he saw you. He defended you from the very moment you two met, telling Yakov to go easy on you, that he did the same things you did when he was your age.

Viktor was your idol- still is- and you would never tell him, would never tell anyone, how much you looked up to him.

You loved how Viktor skated, he was so invested, he took months to work on his programs even creating them years in advanced and they had always been beautiful and struck a cord somewhere inside you.

 That's why you were so excited when he made his promise. Viktor had said that if you were to win in the Junior Grand Prix Final, then He would choreograph a program for your Senior Division debut.  **You would have a program made by the man who saw you as more than an ungrateful brat.** How amazing would that be, you would be sure to win, after all Viktor had won so many medals before he was even your age.

But here you were, sitting alone, locking yourself away after hearing that Viktor had gone to Japanese Yuuri's side after seeing a video of him perfectly matching the choreography that he worked so hard on.

Did Yuuri even know? Did he know how long Viktor worked on that program? It took  _months_ , you saw it blossom from start to finish and Yuuri had managed to make it into something different.

You will give him that it was perfect, he matched the facial expressions, the hand movements, the  _everything_ . Something that you would never be able to accomplish.

Maybe  _that_  was the reason Viktor had gone. He saw more potential in Yuuri, more than he could ever even imagine seeing in you. After all, Yuuri had been doing this longer than you. His age was an advantage, he and Viktor were closer in age- Only a 4 year gap to your  _12 years_. They could relate more, they were more evenly matched, they had more talent and knowledge than you could ever imagine.

When you had said there was room for only one Yuri on the ice you had meant for you to be the one out on there, You were meant to be the one Viktor cheered for, the one who had Viktor by his side.

But Viktor wasn't here now. He left you after seeing how weak you were and you couldn't blame him. Sure you won competitions, you had medals, you trained hard. But Yuuri didn't have those, he failed Miserably at the Grand Prix, but he still had potential waiting to be obtained. And Viktor took that opportunity. He took the chance that going to Japan and training Yuuri would unlock all that hidden talent locked away inside of him.

Maybe you were right, there was only room for one Yuri on the ice and maybe it wasn't you. You had lost Viktor, and even Yakov was worried about that. Worried about the impact it would have on you, even if he didn't openly state it. Everyone was worried, even you. What if Viktor never came back, you shudder at the thought. What if he didn't think you were even worth it anymore? He didn't even tell you goodbye before climbing onto a plane and going to somewhere he couldn't even properly speak the language.

Stop feeling sorry for yourself. Why wouldn't Viktor leave, everyone whose ever cared, even a little, has left. First your father, your mother, then the most heartbreaking- your grandfather.  So why would Viktor be any different?

No, You need to pull yourself together. Maybe Viktor just went to get Yuuri motivated. Maybe, just maybe, Viktor wanted to give you some real competition for once. You've won so many medals easily. Maybe Viktor decided it was time to give you a real challenge, someone taught the same things you were taught by the same person. It would surely make things trickier. Someone who knows the in and outs of your moves because they were practically his moves as well. Viktor was still taking care of you, he was still keeping to his promise, just making it a little harder on you so your victory could be even just a little more sweet. He needed to know that was unnecessary, that he could come home and not waste time on someone else. He needed to know that you were grateful that he was trying o find you a real threat, and that he didnt need to do that- that you would win regardless of the competition aspect and that he could still choreograph your program like he promised.

* * *

He had forgotten. Just like that, all the years you've known him you knew Viktor was forgetful. But you thought this meant something important to him. You thought  _you_ meant something to Viktor.  From the way he reacted when he saw you at the rink, you could tell he hadn't had a single thought about you the entire time he had been away.  "Ah you're here too." He said it like you hadn't flown all the way from Russia, like you hadn't taken off making Yakov worry. He just brushed it off. Just like he brushed off your wishes of him to return to Russia with you. He did however propose a contest, whoever won would have the satisfaction of keeping Viktor, having him choreograph and coach them and making a winner out of them. A competition to regain what you have lost. And you refuse to let it be taken away again.

* * *

Agape. An unconditional love. That was the theme you had been assigned.  Sure that would be harder for you, but not as hard as it would be for the little pig. He had been given Eros, a  _Sexual_ love. This was proof enough that Viktor was in your favor. Yuuri was out of shape, and had probably never even had a sexual relationship with anyone. 

The choreography Viktor was giving up was his own, he had been working on it before he abandoned it in favor of working with Yuuri. This caused a feeling inside of you, why would Viktor be abandoning something he had been working so hard on. Don't worry about that know, you need to focus. You can't lose to Yuuri, you need to get Viktor back and bring him home, that's the only reason you're here and in a weeks time you'll have what you came for.

* * *

 Viktor's training was brutal. He made you endure it even though you weren't the one who had gained extra weight, but it didnt matter to you much. As long as Viktor saw how better you were than the pig. You could do more sit ups, you could run faster, you were more coordinated in every aspect but somehow Viktor's attention barely strayed from Yuuri. And days before the competition you had the feeling that you had lost.

* * *

You finally see what Viktor sees one day before the contest. Yuuri asked for your help with jumps, one that you were known for landing countless times, and you were so tempted to tell him to fuck off but something made you stop. His look of determination floored you, but you couldn't exactly tell why. Many people have asked you for things before-many of them making the same face that Yuuri was giving- and you told them off or flat out ignored them, yet you couldn't bring yourself to say no to this man, and you now knew why you felt so defeated just days ago. You also knew why Viktor left, and that he definitely would not be returning next season, and you were oddly okay with it. As long as he's with Yuuri, you could forgive him.

* * *

 Although you knew it would happen, you still felt angered by the fact that Viktor would not be returning with you. Surely Yakov will say i told you so, but comfort you anyway. Thats what you need right now. Someone to tell you that you tried your hardest and that they were proud of you. And Yakov had to be that person- you _needed_ Yakov to be that person- now that Viktor wasn't there anymore.

But who could blame him, that little pig was going to go far, and you would be there cheering, even if you never told anyone, because you saw what Viktor saw and it was beautiful. 

**Author's Note:**

> This came about because I got to thinking about how in episode 3 "I Am Eros, and Eros is Me?! Face-Off! Hot Springs on Ice" Yuri uses his grandfather to express Agape, which gave me the thought that maybe something had happened to his parents and he was raised by his grandfather.  
> His grandfather probably passed, leaving Yuri alone with nothing but his skating, and well- Viktor.  
> And then Viktor leaves to go and coach Yuuri, leaving him all alone again, which is why he followed Viktor to Japan. He didn't want to lose another 'family'. (upon reading the Wiki it is stated that Yuri is the main provider for his family, which consists of his mother and grandfather, so what i've typed is just my own headcannon)
> 
> I was originally going to have the ending be Viktor and Yuri talking things out but i got too into the angst and i like the way it ended better.


End file.
